There was something so I was at JUNKUDO and Tokyu HANDS in Minami.

I'm randomly buying several paperbacks on a regular basis and
pile them on my bedside.

It is my pleasurable time while I'm reading one of these and
having several drinks in my bed till I fall in sleep.

Anyhow the books were all gone.

JUNKUDO was pretty uncrowded as usual weekday.

There were enough room so you suavely look over the books.

I like this bookstore because I know the worst place.

I don't have any taste about my reading stuff but
it still cost me so I usually take a glance at the quote on its back.

But this time I had an idea.

I've issued a series of column on my web site since last December.

So I was curious about the columns of professional writers.
I had a wild urge to read them.

I picked three authors, Shizuka Ijuin, Makoto Shiina, and Kotaro Sawaki.

I know the other essay writers, but I heard those three writers are
quite popular among women.

I just wanted to know their attitude and hoped to follow their example.

I paid with a hundred and got change although I bought five each.

Seems like almost same cost when I'm at a drink joints with my friend.

The bookstore's emerald green plastic bag is bit heavier than
I was expected and bite into my palm.

If I didn't drink, I could buy number of books more than twice this weigh.

"Drink money costs me too much. No, wait a sec.,
I must say paperbacks are quite budget."

I thought out aloud and took SHINSAIBASHISUJI SHOPPING CENTER to Tokyu HANDS.

My S&M life and Tokyu HANDS are closely bound uped.

I usually make the jiggers for the play myself,
and I get the materials for it from there.

Cream of the crop? No, actually not.

I started this since I didn't enough money when I was young.
So I was driven by necessity.

Mostly I did leather craft stuff. I'll talk this bit deeper on someday.

Anyway, I thought that I'm going to make some return for a Christmas present
that I got the other day but still haven't returned anything.
Suppose to late but I'm going to make some handmade S&M goods, and I will.

I thought a pair of gives; that will be nice.

It costs me less than fifty.

I could make it in a couple of months.

I usually take my time to the process for good edge of the work
rather than bodge job.

Anyhow, I held tow plastic bags in my hands both when I finished my duty.

I was so lack mobility then.

I didn't have my feel to go back soon even I carried such things and
I should go back my place and release myself from this burden.

Just past five p.m..

It is the time that after the sun had set and the streetlights had come on
office workers marched out marched out joyfully with thinking of
their after five pleasure time.

Minami has completely different face from Kita as the feeling something.

I wrote, but to tell you the truth I felt lonesome, in a nutshell.

"How should I do?"

Hopefully, I have enough money to drink since I withdrew the cash bit much
for just in case for the shopping.

I'd thought about paperbacks' budget thing just a while ago,
but already I oppositly thought that life is too short to enjoy.
Yeah, I have O-type blood!

"Who should be with me?"

I took my cell phone from my pocket.

I'll treat tonight.

My friends and I have a kind of unwritten rule that someone who has a
light purse will pick the tab when we meet together without considering
whose income, age, position, what so ever.

We will call him and have a wild and furious time if one of my junior
fellows got hit a jackpot at the track, of course it's on him,
but I'll call one of my seniors at school, who has a family,
and buy a Sushi if I have some extra money end of the month.

This epicurean stuff makes my deposit level keeping extremely lower than
its average rate of my age even I have no interest about gambling things.

"Anyhow, who should be?"

I remembered about one of my friends who battened me my favorite dishes,
sliced raw liver and grilled short rib, at a grill house at Tsuruhashi.

I haven't seen him since then so I'd like to pay back my debt.

I decided and dialed.

Is he ... ?

"Oh, hi there ..."

But it's not him; it's just answering machine, artificially
imitating woman's voice.

"You've been calling nnn-nnn-nnn, but blab blab blab ..."

"Ooops, idiot! He's lost his chance for free Shushi dinner."

Someone else?

I was pondering, but there is no one comes out his ahead.

Okay, in this case, I'm gonna pick the name at random.

I opened the address book on the display and pushed
the scroll button to scroll it.

"five, four, three, two, one, stop!" I counted and stopped.

Okay, who is the winner?

I saw a woman's name that I've never seen before.

By way of experiment, I call her Hanako Yamada.

I couldn't remember who she is.

I suppose to know who she is if I put her in my address book. But I couldn't.

Someone did monkey business while I didn't know?

Unlikely.

I could pass this person, but felt something.

My thought was shifted from 'Who should I pick.' to 'Who is this Hanako Yamada.

I was standing there, middle of the stream of the pedestrian,
and deeply puzzled it more than five minutes. But couldn't get any idea.

So, I made a shortcut as dialed her.

I felt bit excited and pushed the call button.

"Hello, ..." Woman's voice came out immediately.

Young.

"Ah, this is Shadow ..."

"You say, you Shadow??"

That intonation obviously had some such an unbelieving tone.

Did I make a mistake?

"I saw your number on my address book. Have we met somewhere?"

What a stupid conversation.

"You say you have my number on your cell phone?"

"Yes, that's right."

One, two, three .... cannot fill the interval.

"Never mind. It may be some kind of mistake. I'll get rid of this."

"Yeaaah? ..."

I hung up.

I got a smack in the eye. I felt stuck so I decided to go home.

"You can use your money whenever you want. Let's go home now!"

I trudged to the Shinsaibashi station with my baggage,
through crowded Shinsaibashi Shopping Street. It's still early evening.

Oops, here used to be a Italian restaurant. Did they close?

Uhu, MacDonald's is going to sell the grill burger ... . Thinking like
that things, I strolled and then something had came out in my mind.

"Yes, I know her. That the woman when I was there!!"

It's not so far past story.

I met a women group when I was at a pub in last November and did an
S&M lecture to them since I was so drank. Anyway, there are several
girls of them are forcely put their number into my cell phone's address book.

She must be one of them.

I took sigh of relief.

Then I re-dialed the number.

"Hi, I'm Shadow who called you just while ago. I remembered you.
We met at a pub at last year and I did S&M ..."

"Uh-uh, yes I remember you ..."

We'd chatted almost ten minutes.

I asked a dinner as my first thinking although I knew she wouldn't be.

"Why don't we get together for dinner tonight if you have time?"

Strictly speaking, it must be drink. But I never use the word; it's my manner.

"Where are you now?"

"I'm Shinsaibashi now."

"Around seven is okay?"

"Oh, you mean you will?"

"Sure."

"Where is your nearest station Ms. Yamada?"

"It's Kamishinjyo."

"Why don't we meet at Umeda in that case?"

So anyway, the session was settled. I headed to Umeda.

I'd try to remember the situation when I met them on the subway way
to the Umeda station.

How was they?

What kind of S&M story I did?

But unfortunately I could not remember anything about the story what
I did and even could not remember their faces.

Yes, I was bit tipsy meantime.

But it must be so rude if I'm not aware her at that place even she's
just front of me.

Actually I ask her tonight.

I should have choose more unbusy place?

I was resigned to think about them, but thinking like that.

And I was there.

The notable spot of Kansai-ite, the Big Man at Hankyu Umeda station.

It was middle of a week, Wednesday, but the time is seven p.m.
so quite a lot people there.

For God sake, I stood just beneath of the screen.

That moment I saw a woman who smiled to me.
Is that she?

I moved toward her, slowly.

"Aha, you must be Ms. Yamada?"

No. No way.

If she is aware that I'm not knowing her face, it impacts afterwards.

I made my decision.

"Hi there, long time no see!!"

I cheerfully called her; actually It's dicing.

"Hi, how have you been?"

I win.

I thanked.

I hove a sigh of relief and was bit shocked about her modest mood.

I didn't judge her, but our past phone conversation
gave me different image of her.

"Mind if I say I would like Sush?"

I took her a sushi joint, half forcely.

We settled at its stool.

By the by, I never, ever, take a box at Sush place.

I will happyly move to somewhere next sushi place
if there is no empty counter stool.

I don't want be Sushi place as a member of a group.

We ordered two jugs of beer.

A bottle of hot sake with her serve will bring more taste,
but it must be too much for her. I don't want to that thing meanwhile.

And one more by the by thing. I hate bottled beer.

I don't think it's not smart way to drink with small cup.

And there is a logo sign on those cups. I hate them too.

I get some kind of negative image from them.

I like dynamic way to drink beer.

Thanksfully, the beers that I'd ordered were filled in cooled jugs.

Yes, this is the beer what I wanted.

I quaffed up two third of it after we toasted.

Okay, what should I talk?

Small talk or S&M stuff like I did last time.

I never thought any sexual things to her but she might also have own thought.

She will disappoint about my small talk, even nice one,
if she expected some S&M talk.

I tried.

Until just before the break point, I didn't open my mouth and
was watching her tone.

But, she also didn't speak anything.

So I made a touchy small talk as compromise plan.

"Your nail color, ... it's nice .."

I couldn't remember why we reach such a story, but about thirty minutes later,
we were talking about Okinawa stuff flourishly as she get the turbo
cooked in its own shell.

We'd known we like Okinawa island each other by some reason.

I've been and bummed around Okinawa island when I was young.
So I know its geography, B-class gourmet, and so on.

"Do you know Yambalkuina inn? It's just nearby Okuma beach and quite reasonable.
They just costs you 35.

"Moreover, it includes meals, breakfast and dinner.

And the meals! I cannot tell you by words. Did you eat globefish's liver?

You have NOT? Oh, you should try. It comes to the taste of .... "

Good sake, sushi, and her smile. They made me overtalk although
I'm not such a good pick up guy. We drank one cup after another.

We went to Japanese style grilled chicken joint as second place.
But I can't remember about what we ate, what we talked,
and even I cannot remember who picked the tub.

I also cannot remember the third place. Is that cafe or Chinese noodle stand?

What I only and clearly remember is her gentle stroke while
I threw up at an electric pole side.

She kindly called a cab for me.

I cannot remember about her words that she gave me when I left.
"I'll call you next item." OR "Sorry to say that but please forget about me."

I felt something, cool and carry weight stuff, in my jumper pocket when
I looked blankly at the pass over nightscape with some
floaty feeling at the cub.

What is this? I thought.

It turns out a can of POCARI SWEAT.

It must be her charity.

I was so impressed about that.

She will be a good wife. I thought and gulped it.

Cynically, I felt the taste was nicer than the drinks that she and
I had enjoyed.

Oops?

The drink gave me a sense.

There was no bags, not only bookstore's one but also the bag contains
the items for my leather craft.

Did I left them at the electric pole side?

Cut blocks with a razor ... .

I momently thought "What a waste!" but never mind that.
My incorrigible optimist sense told me "You can buy them next week,"
and I fell into sleep.



shadow

translated by Peter Junk