Since our DAMN unusual commands to our partner are
carried through naturally,
usual person thinks we are so highfaluting.

But I have to say this common image about us,
active part such as masters or mistresses, is wrong.

We are trying to shape our technique and knowledge
out of view of the public. Please do not forget about that.
Because once the play's started,
our partner's innate m'lady sensitivity questions our ability
to act as master. A hardball.

If our skills serve kinda satisfaction to our partner's innate sensitivity,
it could be the best relationship or partnership on S&M acts, I believe.

What will happen if the partner's sensitivity never got satisfaction
with your poor skill?

More strictly speaking, their sensitivity excels your talent.

It's gonna be a dismal failure in S&M play.

I'd had once.

Luckily or unluckily, I once played with a genuine masochist woman
when I was novice.

She never mentioned but I was aware of her unquenchable thirst or
compulsion that I could not manage well with my poor skill.
I was overwhelmed and thought how come she's so ravenous.

I wanted to hide my wretchedness then.

I was so frustrated and just dithered about without doing anything
faced with the sight of the woman
who not know what to do with her flamed desire.

I wasn't able to do anything, wasn't able refer to myself as a master.

Anyway, the playing I was mentioned above was turned into
a cynical mood and ended in an anticlimax.

I should have confessed my poor ability and told my honest thinking
about S&M play to her.
And had to bag her help to improve my skill as had occasional sessions.

How stupid I was.
"I'm in bad shape today, sorry. Actually, I'm not like this." My green-ass
mind gave such a remark to her.

She said nothig, but gave me laughs thru her nose. I knew that.

"Get rid of my number, addr, or any my stuff from your note, right?"
After all she gave harsh words over me, wasn't even looking at me,
before I said I'll call you.

She left briskly when she's fling off the word.
No good-bys, of course.

Miserable as sin. Just bristle at the thought about.

I knew I was wrong. The point an accusing finger at was me,
even I was a squirt but I had enough sense of aware that.
I was irritating myself.

My stance to S&M was changed after this episode; no more make-believe play.
It's not too much to say that I seriously challenged to study it
like as a literature.

I thought I have to handle any situation mightily for whom
they have courage to give wide latitude of S&M play
even they usually have their particular interest about that.

I also thought that I study multi dimensionally about the things first
and then pick and dig deep into that my loved one.

I poured through thousands of volumes of S&M related books.

I appreciated thousands of videos as taking memos.

Okay, let's back to the topic.

Usual person presumes we are so highfaluting.
But it is just an aspect of the result of our diligence.
We are given the credential.

The aspect means good master-servant relationship.

What I want to say is m'ladies just obey their own instinct.
But we masters can't do that.

We have to decrease the emotion of the whisper of own instinct.

If you didn't, your jewel of a partner will die; if the worst happens.

Novices need more attention.

You should not make any scratches on your partner's body with the play.

Even you didn't make scratches there might be some dent or marks
as using hemp-rope.

Suppose there is your partner's boyfriend or husband.
In that case, the marks that you left gonna be serious problem.

Do you know how long it will take that marks be gone.

If you wanna use it, you should know about that.

Other stuffs are same.

Hence, we masters should know about various things
not only physical and mental pleasure things
but also should concern about such as the hygiene stuff,
the safetiness, and so on.

Moreover, you need the sensitivity, as highly abstract stuff,
that mentioned at previous column.

In addition, you have to keep the level of the skill.

Unsure the way to rope up your partner with hexagonal pattern does't work.

You condescended yourself to mere lecher
if you could not handle well inconsequential chat at after-play eat out.

In a nutshell, you could not be a master
if you don't have enough common knowledge. It requires high qualification.

There're many masters and are dandyish.
It must be stem largely from this, I believe.

Anyhow, I've written this, but I haven't been there. I know that.

Put on years with this web site and
hope someday someone remark me a dandyish person.
A couple.
A fine gentleman with silvery hair and amorous Jane M.

Gorgeous couple, aren't they?

I used to say that m'ladies are go in Zen stuff,
but on second thought upscale French restaurant could suit them.
With some nice wine, I hope.

Thanks god, it's a wonderful S&M life.


Dec. 14, 1999 Shadow

translated by Peter Junk